I've been with Shawn over a year now. Most people are starting to talk marriage at this time, getting a ring, where to propose, etc. You figure a year is a decent enough time to wait, right? Well, the most Shawn and I have ever talked about marriage is how much we don't want to. First of all, in my humble opinion, I don't think a year is long enough to find out about a person. You know a lot about them, but I still don't know everything about My Shawn, I never will. I learn more about him everyday. :) It's exciting though. I love getting to know Shawn and be around him. But, fact of the matter is, we will probably never get married. If we ever do get married it'll be when we're old and grey and have nothing left, LOL! Most of the time, I feel like we are already married. We are most definitely committed to each other. We love each other very much. I don't see why we need the paper to prove it. Anyway, a lot of people ask me why we won't get married. Or, why we haven't gotten married yet. Well, I'll tell you.
First of all, marriage is, by far, overrated. Most marriages seem to not last anymore. NOT saying there aren't ones that will last, but it just doesn't seem right to push our luck. From what I've seen people can be together ten years and be just fine. Then, they FINALLY get married and they're getting divorced a year later. Why do I want those odds? Why ruin a great thing?
Shawn's been married before. He doesn't want to experience it again.
Haven't you ever noticed it's mostly for the woman? The man just has to show up. LOL! The woman gets the white dress. Which, BTW, I don't think should be white if you're not a virgin. That's what the white symbolizes, purity. Not that I'm getting into any christian mumbo jumbo here, but let's not be hypocritical. The woman gets the fancy ring. The woman gets the attention. What does the man get? The bill. LOL! JK!
It's a christian thing. They say in the Bible, no sex before marriage, no living together til you're married, have to be married, one man- one woman. Blah, blah, blah. Ok, that's all fine and good, but it's outdated. Besides, in the Bible they didn't even have a paper binding you to someone. There was nothing official, jeez.
People get married for the wrong reasons. There is no "sanctity of marriage" anymore. And, BTW, I think gay people should be allowed to marry. Why the hell not?!
Those are just my reasons. Maybe someday we'll change our minds. But, until then, I can't imagine calling Shawn my husband. It's to mature sounding, haha. I have yet to establish my life. Shawn just happens to be a big part of it. Only bad thing is about not being married, is insurance. Hospitals, I can't go in there to see him if he ever gets in an accident because I'm not his spouse. Whatever.
Now, on to the next BIG topic. Children:
People always tell me "You and Shawn need to have babies." "When are you and Shawn having a baby?" "You and Shawn will be pregnant next." I HATE comments like that. I'm sorry to say, I DO NOT want a kid. Why do I need a kid? I'm just fine with my life like it is. I don't need something to fulfill me like that. I have my job, which does that for me. I know kids are wonderful and I love kids. In fact, if I ever did have one, I would love my own immensely, but I don't want one. Here's my list:
Kids cost money. We live in a one bedroom apartment and we would have to move. Nine months is not enough time to get a new apartment and buy baby stuff.
They cry... incessantly. I can't handle it. I like quiet.
I don't want to experience pregnancy. I know they say you forget about it after the baby is born, but I'm already chunky and I would never lose the weight.
My life would never be mine again. I'm selfish in that aspect. All of a sudden, it'd be all about baby.
I'd worry all the time. I already get headaches enough, thanks. LOL!
My parents don't want to be grandparents. I have no desire to give that to them either.
Shawn and I enjoy our life to ourselves. We go where we want, spend what we want, do what we want. There is nothing stopping us.
I can't stand not working. I would hate to be a stay at home mom. I like being a "career girl". Of course, my career is null at the moment, but eventually....
I love it when people tell me I might grow up a bit if I have a kid. Well, what the hell's wrong with being how I am? I like being a little immature. I don't care to work my life away because of a kid. I like being goofy and silly and enjoying my immaturity.
SO, for all you guys out there who are wondering when I'll ever have a kid, UM, well, step in line, it'll be a long wait. HAHAHA.
People tell me I'll have someone to take care of me when I'm old. Yea, there is no guarantee my kids will like me, or stick around, or whatever the hell. They might stick me in a nursing home and forget about me. Besides, I would fall apart when they left. Hell, my friend's kid was going to Kindergarten and I dropped her off one time. She was so sweet to me in the ride there. Wanted me to hug her, hold her hand, etc. As soon as we got into the school, she started walking away from me and wanted nothing to do with me. How the hell would I handle that with my own kids?
BTW, I am not saying having kids and marriage is a bad thing. I commend you all. I just don't want that for myself. To each their own, right? :) Anyway, just thought I'd share my views. I know having a kid is one of the best things you can ever experience. I think it's a wonderful thing. I just don't want to experience it. I have other stuff to do. :D
You need to live for yourself and not worry about what everyone else wants for you. I commend you for not giving in and getting married or having a baby. It's not easy raising a child and your right marriage is WAY over rated. I tried it twice and neither one stuck. I won't go for a third time. In fact I don't even want a boyfriend at this point. I can live without the hassal of a man in my life. I think both you and Shawn have your heads in the right places and are doing the best for both of you. Way to go girl.
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