You know how you stay in something because you get comfortable there? Yea, that's where I'm at right now. But, in a couple of weeks, I am leaving and starting something completely different. I am kinda in panic mode cuz this will be new for me. I've done the same thing for two years (at least!) and all of a sudden I am branching out into something like it, but more advanced. And, let me tell you, it's a bit terrifying.
All these what ifs are running through my head. What if I'm not good at it? What if I get let go cuz I can't succeed? What if this was a mistake?
See, right now I'm at the top of my game. I can get it done and it's a routine. That's the problem. It's. a routine. I need more. I want more. But, I'm scared of more.
Remember that thing I spoke about in the last blog post? Well, turns out my feelings were right. I got the job. I succeeded. I am so proud of myself. I will finally be working in a hospital. I've been wanting to work in a hospital for years! I start April 8. And, as nervous as I am I'm also super excited. Something new. Something different. The place has a parking garage! I feel I'm moving up in the world. I'm content.
I realized today as I was driving to work (old job) that I am content. I am happy where my life is going. I feel I'm going to jinx it if I keep talking about it or get "cocky" about it. But, how do you not share something like this? I've finally done something Ive been wanting for years. I accomplished a goal. And, it will lead to other goals. I can't wait! I keep holding my breath thought thinking that it isn't real. But, I went for my health screen yesterday and I'm telling you, all the shots they gave me and blood test they did, makes it pretty damn real.
I went almost three weeks ago for an interview for a job I didn't know I would get. Last week, they offered me a position. I almost cried. It's like "Give me a chance. I swear, I can do this." I want this.
But, I also realized being a CNA may not be the best job ever, but I tell you what, most days I love being around my residents. Who else is going to take care of them? I would never become a nurse cuz I'd never enjoy it. Too much paperwork, and there is no one on one time with your people. BTW, yes I will be a CNA on the medical floor at my new job. I will miss some of them, but again there are bigger things out there for me. :)
I hope my friends I made will stay my friends. I hope I make new friends. I know, I know work isn't about making friends, but it's so much easier when you get along with the people you work with. Besides, if that's where you're at most of the time..... What do you expect? I hope I can eventually advance my career. I'm still going for Physical Therapy Assistant. I finally figured out that is for sure what I want to do! And, I want to travel.
I am afraid of change. I like things to stay the same. But, how do you advance in life if you're always at a stalemate? I want to look at the bigger picture. Anyway, I'm off! I need to take a nap. LOL
