Lately, I've noticed something about myself. I have been playing it safe for quite awhile. I don't know, it's like I haven't been taking any risks or getting excited about anything. My passion is dwindling. I feel I'm becoming old at the ripe age of 26. For example, today Nick and I went swimming at Dallas Lake. It was so lovely. But, him and his buddy just dived right in. I, on the other hand, sat down, then decided to climb down the ladder to get in. I didn't really dive in at all the entire time! I know that's a little example, but it's always the "what ifs". "What if I hurt myself?" "What if I fall?" "What if it doesn't work out?" SO! I need to start saying SO WHAT! more often!
What is life if you're not living it? Life was not meant to be trapped in a bubble. That's kinda how I feel lately. I've trapped myself in this bubble. I'm afraid to find a new job cuz it's so easy to have this one. It's close by, it's convenient, etc. etc. I always say I'm gonna wait til I save enough money. Which is true, but dammit I need to start saving more than! I need to quit spending my money on frivolous bullshit that doesn't last. If I want the newer car and the better apartment, I better get my ass on it! I know it's tough. Life's not meant to be easy. I'm so tired of playing it safe. Always worrying about the negatives and what COULD happen, and not focusing on the good of what MIGHT happen.
Anyway, I want to write the novel. It would be my dream to be an author. I'd be thrilled. I love writing. I'd love to be a physical therapist. I always think of the schooling though. Jesus, there is always something stopping me, isn't there? Well, quit letting it! Snap out of it! Get your head wrapped around those dreams and make it happen! What's it gonna hurt?
Anyway, I'm being ridiculous today. I just keep thinking of all the things I haven't done because I'm being a chicken shit. Enough is enough. I just needed a pep talk, LOL!
